Thursday, March 18, 2021

Shaak Ti's Long List of Failures

Has anybody else noticed that Shaak Ti not only dies alot but FAILS alot, too? Despite being a great Jedi Council member, Shaak Ti is-in many ways- a big orange Vaalian-looking failure, with a flop record even Heinz Doofenshmirtz would admire. 

Here are the instances I can recall:

Shaak FAILS to Stop Darth Kiloss, Forcing an Entire Legion of Jedi to Kill Him (Fan Film Crossroads of Destiny)
In the Project Rya Kirsch fan film Crossroads of Destiny, Shaak Ti (misspelled "Shaak-Ti" in the credits) is training an eight-year-old Obi-Wan until this Neo-Sith guy named Kiloss shows up and freaking stabs her twice after about two minutes and twenty-nine seconds of 1/5 intense fighting (which sounds ridiculous that she survived...but if Western fans like me will accept that Jed Cooper in Hang Em High can survive being hung, suffocated in sand, and shot a billion times, I'll buy an orange alien getting injuried impossibly). Eventually, Ki-Adi Mundi, Even Piell, and some other guys show up and fight him until Piell stabs him. Long story short, the four-foot Lannik kills the scary lizard man, but the big girl Togruta can't. Hence failure.

After a Long, Long Long Long LONG Chase Around Coruscant, Shaak Ti FAILS to Save Palpatine from Grievous (Clone Wars micro-series)
I won't include her failure with Grievous at Hypori (since it wasn't just her that failed), but she definitely gets a thumbs down of floppery for her Battle of Coruscant conduct. After chasing around the General (who'd come to kidnap the Chancellor) with Masters Roron Cobb and Foul Moudama. All of them failed in some way, shape, or form. But one in particular stands out. Guess who?

Nope. Shaak Ti!

I kid you not. She was tied up in vibrocords and discovered by Mace Windu amidst the corpses of Roron Cobb and Foul Moudama. At least she had the guts to admit she failed ("I failed.") 

FAILING to Protect the Jedi Temple, Being the Only Council Member There During Order 66/Operation: Knightfall (The Clone Wars Episode "Destiny")
According to some sort of unused animatic from Revenge of the Sith-as well as a vision in the lauded The Clone Wars episode "Destiny"-Shaak Ti was killed by Anakin Skywalker, when she was the only Council member in the Temple, and was supposed to be guarding it. Really? Anakin just walks up to her and kills her. Fwash! FAIL! In retrospect, this version is probably Non-Canon, despite what the Galactic Atlas says. 

Next up is the final, biggest fail of all for Ms. Ti. Are you hyped?

Good, 'cause here it is:

Shaak Ti FAILS ROYALLY by Being Defeated by Starkiller/Galen Marek Easily, Prompting Her to Throw Herself into a Sarlacc Pit and Leave Everything on Felucia to Turn to the Dark Side, Including Its Natives and Her Apprentice. Say Whaaaat? (The Force Unleashed Multimedia Project)  
Boy, talk about an easy defeat. Before there was Rey, the big Mary-Sue Superman of the Force was Starkiller, Darth Vader's apprentice (except far more better of a character in a video game that puts the Sequels to shame). Being that powerful, Shaak Ti's hiding spot on Felucia was discovered,  and was easily disarmed. Then she decides to throw herself in the Sarlacc called the Ancient Abyss (huh?). Even worse, she irresponsibly left a bunch of Felucians to turn to the Dark Side, as well as her apprentice, Maris Brood. Yessiree, she screwed up royally, and is nonetheless a big, BIG failure. On a side note, did any of you people out there who has played TFU since they were kids (like me) hate it when she says "Are you prepared to meet your fate?" to Starkiller in the cutscene before the boss battle? Doesn't that sound more like a Sith thing?  

HONORABLE MENTION: Shaak Ti's Alternate Death From FAILING to Protect Her Chancellor
Wowee, anutha one! Yes, there was a deleted scene from Revenge of the Sith where Shaak Ti is stabbed by Grievous on the Invisible Hand. She here also says "I failed." Heck, at least the gal's honest.  

Well, that about wraps it up. you've gotten the dirty lowdown on every failure Shaak Ti oversaw. If there's any I missed, let me know. 

Wednesday, March 17, 2021

Fan Film Download Library

UPDATE: Download Library

Now, instead of flocking to Kuat Engineers, you can just download the Project Rya Kirsch fan films here at the "Fan Film Downloads" tab above. I'm not gonna bother to go to all my past articles and take away the links, but from now on you can download from this site.

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